Those early days of a relationship often pass in a fog of bliss. Texts from friends go unreturned; entire weekends are lost in bed. But many relationships crumble by the three-month mark – when you start to see the other person’s flaws, but before the partnership becomes a solid, defined entity. If you can weather the three-month point, those early days will set the tone for your future relationship. What are the common mistakes people make at the start of relationships – and how can you avoid them? The experts weigh in.
- Coming On Too Strong
It’s good to know what you want from a prospective partner, and to be clear about that. But it’s off-putting to lay everything out on the table straight away. “Don’t set out your 20-year plan on the first few dates,” says psychologist and relationship expert Emma Kenny. “It can be intimidating. It also means that you’ve negated the opportunity to see how things would develop naturally with that person.”
- Being Too Rigid
It’s good to have an idea of the sort of person with whom you would like to settle down. But being too rigid in the early stages of a relationship can kill promising romances stone dead. “Think about what that other person is as an individual, not in terms of their political beliefs or whether they’re a vegan or whatever,” Kenny says. Put away the checklist. “It’s not a great idea to interview someone on the first few dates. Asking them how much they’re earning, or about their home-owning situation – it’s not an organic way to get to know someone. You’re a prospective partner, not a recruitment consultant.”
- Not Being Yourself
The worst mistake you can do is pretend to be someone you are not to impress the significant other. One, pretending can be exhausting, and you’ll only mislead the other person. You want someone to fall in love with the person that you are and not the fake version. Don’t build a relationship based on lies, especially if you are looking for a long-term one.
- Talking About The Past
It’s no doubt that your past is still important since it shaped the person you are today. However, when trying to build something new, it’s essential not to bring up past relationships. No one wants to hear how much you hate your ex for breaking your heart. Talking about your exes could send the wrong message and even put off the potential partner.
- Snooping In Your Partner’s Phone
The only message you’ll be sending by snooping through your spouse’s phone is that you don’t trust them. It’s crucial to respect someone’s privacy and talk to them about it when in doubt. This way, you avoid unnecessary arguments and build trust in the relationship.
- Being Too Clingy
Nothing’s worse than a partner who is all over your business, especially when you’ve only gone out for like two dates. Most people are protective of their spouses, but in the first initial stages of dating, avoid being too clingy. Slowly learn about each other and forget about someone else trying to steal them.
- Flirting With Other People
Most people have fallen guilty for this mistake and end up destroying the relationship before it even starts. For men, avoid wandering off your eyes and stare at other women or even flirting with the waitress when on a date with someone; it’s very disrespectful.